This semester I have definitely experienced, experimented and expanded my literary horizons. From last semester of Stephanie explaining what her vision was of this class, to actually experiencing and becoming a guinea pig , all in the name of higher education! What we get out of the study of literature goes beyond the "technical terms" that are in the book, it flows into the power of the written word. Spoken words are often mis-understood and easily forgotten. Whereas there is so much power in what we write. Think about all of the recorded history about us, our lives are recorded in birthday cards, report cards, notes our teachers, friends, family have written to us and about us. Then expand that into the recorded history of the world. Even heiroglyphics are like written history because they are tangible records. You have to be a voyeur and an adventurer to read literature.
R. S. Gwynn says that, "Our experience of the world is limited by time and place, and even the most resolute traveler can only superficially come to know the complex blends of cultures that make up our world". I get that completely, and that is why I love to read. Reading takes me to places I will never have the opportunity to experience first hand, and allows me to do things that sometimes I only dream of doing. The first thing we studied this semester was fiction. We were assigned 1000 pages of whatever we wanted to read. Because I am a voracious reader, I passed my 1000 and just kept on going. I would assume that the purpose of the study of fiction and the 1000 page assignment were really closely related. We study fiction to experience different places and people, and expand our minds, maybe get a different perspective on life and experiment with different points of view. My choice of books were not anything I would normally have read. My usual criteria for a book is that someone has to die violently in the first 50 pages, preferably within the first 10 for me to be interested. I guess what I'm saying is that my taste in literature falls into the Noir category. The Secret Life of Bees was a great "feel good" book. I made some friends in Tiburon, South Carolina. Run, was different for me too. It too was a "feel good" book, but moved much slower than Bees did. I Run, I experienced Boston in the winter and cried right along with Kenya when her mother died. Speaking of crying (or sobbing), the book For My Daughters had to be dried out when I was finished with it. It is a wonderful story. I traveled to Maine and sat on the beach with Leah St Clair, closed my eyes and smelled the beach roses and Atlantic Ocean.
I can't forget the mini book clubs. In the short stories I was able to make the last meal of death row inmates, and zip up a catskin suit and flounce around with my tail in the air. The rage I felt in reading Party Down at the Square took a bit to wear off. But Betty was alright by me and left me shaking my head up and down with her advise.
Performing in the play was quite an experience that encompasses both experience and expand. I have not been on a stage of any kind since High School (we all know how long ago that was), and I was in the chorus in a musical. I am not the person who likes to be front and center in anything. I love to sing, and when I karaoke I would just as soon do it as part of the audience, instead of up by myself in front of everyone. Speaking of plays being able to attend the Shakespeare play was a great experience. Not only was the setting awesome, but getting out of the classroom was too.
I liked writing our short stories. The bubble technique helped me focus and narrow down my ideas. Of course I would have liked more time to write and re-write and edit what I wrote. However, I do understand that the shortened semester makes that an impossibility. I could have done without writing the poetry. Even when I wrote poetry it didn't rhyme. The poetry slam was a great experience and allowed me to expand outside of my comfort zone.
The lit salons were interesting. Being able to see different authors from the past and "tie-ing" it all together with what was happening in the world was great. I love to get the big picture of things. I was able to once again step outside my comfort zone and read about real people who have directly impacted my world and talk about them. Specifically if Anais and Henry had not written and published the things they did what we deem as acceptable literature versus pornography would be different. Henry went in front of the Supreme Court, the highest court in the land to defend his beliefs. How utterly empowering that must have been. If he hadn't, some of what I normally read would never have been published. He pushed the boundaries. Of course the experience of reading and hearing about all of the authors expanded my views of them and gave me an understanding of their impact to our world.
To sum up my very long blog here, experience, experiment and expand are all related. Without expanding our views we would never be able to experiment and therefore experience anything new.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Cultural opportunity # 3
I could not afford a concert this year so while laying in bed thinking (what I really mean is stressing) over it, I remembered Eric. Eric and I have a long history together, which I won't bore you with the details. We have evolved from being friends to being engaged to being friends again. He is one of my favorite people.
When I met Eric 9 years ago, he told me that he had been in a band and even showed me a video (translate VHS, yes we are old school) that someone had made. The picture was grainy and the sound left a little bit to be desired. You'll have that with VHS though. His band's name was Water's Edge, and they only played original music. Unfortunately for them Central Illinois for the most part doesn't like original music on a Friday or Saturday night. They want the same stuff they hear on the radio so they can sing along and not stretch out of their personal comfort zones. They want to dance and know that Jessie's Girl will sound like what is on the original track.
Probably about 5 years ago, Eric came to me and told me he and his friend Mike (who has a recording studio) were going to finally lay down some tracks and compile a cd. Ever encouraging, I gave him the thumbs up and tried to think of another band name along with them. In the end they decided to stick with Water's Edge. Eric wrote all of the songs and lyrics, while Mike did the instrumental part. Each song for him has a history. Some are about old girlfriends (not me), and others are about life in general. I love that I get to revisit his music. Eric forwarded me his songs via email, and my daughter and I sat and listened to them. Her favorite is paradox (which we used to joke he was saying "pair of ducks") and mine is cuinoz. Neither one of those are on the list of his favorites. As they were recording the songs, he would bring me a cd showing what they had done and where they were going with it.
Cuinoz is about the "blown away" feeling we all have with new love. He uses a tornado as a metaphor for his relationship with some woman. I have no idea which woman this song is about, but I like it. In the beginning there is a guitar sound that mimics the sound of a tornado. Then like the movie Twister, there are sounds of wind chimes throughout the song and the end. About the middle they added the national weather service announcements. It is a clever arrangement. They released in on You Tube. If you cut and paste it the link is; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um1XjJPWYjE.
Paradox is defined as is an apparently true statement or group of statements that leads to a contradiction or a situation which defies intuition. Eric's song titled Paradox is about people who lead a "lucky" life. Alix (my daughter) still remembers the lyrics after years of not listening to it. It is a catchy tune and gets stuck in your head.
The song Light Another Candle is on Eric's list of favorite lyrics. It is about love that is lost. The lyrics aren't complicated. It makes nice poetry because it rhymes and flows easily. This song is obviously about a woman (once again not about me). Are you sensing a theme here?
I like the song fool because it's refreshing to hear a man admit they were a fool (read, idiot). If I close my eyes I can hear Poison or Guns N Roses singing it, Slash ripping riffs on the guitar.
Heaven Only Knows starts out like a Billy Joel song with a heavy piano sound. This is a reflection of the question that everyone asks in the beginning of a relationship. I like it because it has a rather blue-sy/gospel sound. None of his other songs has this feel.
Den of the Wicked is a heavy song, reminiscent of 80's music. It is a reflection of society and persecution. He talks about maintaining our innocence and that when everything else is done that is all that remains.
I promised Eric in return for my being able to pick apart his lyrics and sometimes poke fun at him that I would "plug" this cd. Once again, the band's name is Water's Edge. I'm sure sometime this decade you will be able to buy the cd at Co-op records.
When I met Eric 9 years ago, he told me that he had been in a band and even showed me a video (translate VHS, yes we are old school) that someone had made. The picture was grainy and the sound left a little bit to be desired. You'll have that with VHS though. His band's name was Water's Edge, and they only played original music. Unfortunately for them Central Illinois for the most part doesn't like original music on a Friday or Saturday night. They want the same stuff they hear on the radio so they can sing along and not stretch out of their personal comfort zones. They want to dance and know that Jessie's Girl will sound like what is on the original track.
Probably about 5 years ago, Eric came to me and told me he and his friend Mike (who has a recording studio) were going to finally lay down some tracks and compile a cd. Ever encouraging, I gave him the thumbs up and tried to think of another band name along with them. In the end they decided to stick with Water's Edge. Eric wrote all of the songs and lyrics, while Mike did the instrumental part. Each song for him has a history. Some are about old girlfriends (not me), and others are about life in general. I love that I get to revisit his music. Eric forwarded me his songs via email, and my daughter and I sat and listened to them. Her favorite is paradox (which we used to joke he was saying "pair of ducks") and mine is cuinoz. Neither one of those are on the list of his favorites. As they were recording the songs, he would bring me a cd showing what they had done and where they were going with it.
Cuinoz is about the "blown away" feeling we all have with new love. He uses a tornado as a metaphor for his relationship with some woman. I have no idea which woman this song is about, but I like it. In the beginning there is a guitar sound that mimics the sound of a tornado. Then like the movie Twister, there are sounds of wind chimes throughout the song and the end. About the middle they added the national weather service announcements. It is a clever arrangement. They released in on You Tube. If you cut and paste it the link is; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um1XjJPWYjE.
Paradox is defined as is an apparently true statement or group of statements that leads to a contradiction or a situation which defies intuition. Eric's song titled Paradox is about people who lead a "lucky" life. Alix (my daughter) still remembers the lyrics after years of not listening to it. It is a catchy tune and gets stuck in your head.
The song Light Another Candle is on Eric's list of favorite lyrics. It is about love that is lost. The lyrics aren't complicated. It makes nice poetry because it rhymes and flows easily. This song is obviously about a woman (once again not about me). Are you sensing a theme here?
I like the song fool because it's refreshing to hear a man admit they were a fool (read, idiot). If I close my eyes I can hear Poison or Guns N Roses singing it, Slash ripping riffs on the guitar.
Heaven Only Knows starts out like a Billy Joel song with a heavy piano sound. This is a reflection of the question that everyone asks in the beginning of a relationship. I like it because it has a rather blue-sy/gospel sound. None of his other songs has this feel.
Den of the Wicked is a heavy song, reminiscent of 80's music. It is a reflection of society and persecution. He talks about maintaining our innocence and that when everything else is done that is all that remains.
I promised Eric in return for my being able to pick apart his lyrics and sometimes poke fun at him that I would "plug" this cd. Once again, the band's name is Water's Edge. I'm sure sometime this decade you will be able to buy the cd at Co-op records.
Cultural Opportunity-Henry and June
I just finished the book Henry and June. I understand we were supposed to watch the movie, but I had started reading the book for my literary salon and thought maybe it would be better to finish it.
I find it difficult to know where to start. The book reads like journal, with entries for sporadic periods throughout the month. Anais often quotes herself and others, instead of paraphrasing. I wonder how she remembers so vividly what was said by another person. My psychoanalysis of her changed as I grew to know her better. At first I thought she was a narcissistic woman, just using any man she could manipulate. The more I read though, the more she changed for me. The narcissism I originally diagnosed was not true, it is really insecurity. She has a deep need for attention and to find her place in the world. She uses sex as a tool, but contradicts herself by saying that she cannot have sex without love. I believe she deceives herself into thinking that what she feels initially for June is love and that is why she desires her. Her true motivation for being near her is in fact jealously. Even though June is poor, she has the self confidence which Anais does not.
Her relationship with Henry is more complicated. At first she seduced him because of her jealously with June. She talks about her unfaithfulness and justifies it by saying that if she were not an artist she would be faithful to Hugo. I believe Henry does truly love and need her in a most unhealthy way. He not only craves her attention he needs her undying adoration to feed his ego so that he can write. He demoralizes her by dominating her sexually. He is not a man in the sense of 1931 or 1932. He does not financially support himself or his wife. He willingly allows others to house him, clothe him and feed him. In turn he justifies this by saying it is in account of him being an author. The triangle between Henry and June and Anais is a tragic one. Henry is submissive with June and tells Anais that she dominates and deceives him. Anais wants to believe that she is helping Henry to become a better husband by feeding his ego. She wants to make him stronger, a better man. Henry loves June because with her he does not need to play the dominant male role in their relationship. He can be like a child, dependent on her. Anais initially believes that Henry is this great man and author. It doesn't take a lot of self analysis for her to realize that she has become the mother figure to Henry's child-like personality.
Hugo, Anais's husband is a victim in this love triangle. He works as a banker to unknowingly support Henry and June. Anais gives Henry money that Hugo worked hard and sacrificed for. Anais continually deceives Hugo about her relationship to Henry and June. It is clear that she loves Hugo and feels bad about her actions, just not enough remorse to either stop them, or let Hugo go free.
Eduardo is described by Anais as a cousin, yet she becomes involved with him too. Her relationship with Eduardo is similar to Henry's in that she, Anais, needs to be desired and wanted. For a while she carries on a relationship with Eduardo, Henry and Hugo. Sometimes having sex with all of them in one day.
I didn't find the sexual exploits of any of these people as being strange. The difference between Anais and the main stream society is that most people don't publish their innermost thoughts and feelings. I certainly applaud her for having the courage to put herself out there (in a sense) and allow the general public not just into her bed, but into her brain as well. Henry, D. H. Laurence and Anais all have a huge following. They are well read not just by the lower-class societies, but by upper-class as well, which leads to more thought on why if so many people have be exposed to them, why are they not mainstream reads?
I find it difficult to know where to start. The book reads like journal, with entries for sporadic periods throughout the month. Anais often quotes herself and others, instead of paraphrasing. I wonder how she remembers so vividly what was said by another person. My psychoanalysis of her changed as I grew to know her better. At first I thought she was a narcissistic woman, just using any man she could manipulate. The more I read though, the more she changed for me. The narcissism I originally diagnosed was not true, it is really insecurity. She has a deep need for attention and to find her place in the world. She uses sex as a tool, but contradicts herself by saying that she cannot have sex without love. I believe she deceives herself into thinking that what she feels initially for June is love and that is why she desires her. Her true motivation for being near her is in fact jealously. Even though June is poor, she has the self confidence which Anais does not.
Her relationship with Henry is more complicated. At first she seduced him because of her jealously with June. She talks about her unfaithfulness and justifies it by saying that if she were not an artist she would be faithful to Hugo. I believe Henry does truly love and need her in a most unhealthy way. He not only craves her attention he needs her undying adoration to feed his ego so that he can write. He demoralizes her by dominating her sexually. He is not a man in the sense of 1931 or 1932. He does not financially support himself or his wife. He willingly allows others to house him, clothe him and feed him. In turn he justifies this by saying it is in account of him being an author. The triangle between Henry and June and Anais is a tragic one. Henry is submissive with June and tells Anais that she dominates and deceives him. Anais wants to believe that she is helping Henry to become a better husband by feeding his ego. She wants to make him stronger, a better man. Henry loves June because with her he does not need to play the dominant male role in their relationship. He can be like a child, dependent on her. Anais initially believes that Henry is this great man and author. It doesn't take a lot of self analysis for her to realize that she has become the mother figure to Henry's child-like personality.
Hugo, Anais's husband is a victim in this love triangle. He works as a banker to unknowingly support Henry and June. Anais gives Henry money that Hugo worked hard and sacrificed for. Anais continually deceives Hugo about her relationship to Henry and June. It is clear that she loves Hugo and feels bad about her actions, just not enough remorse to either stop them, or let Hugo go free.
Eduardo is described by Anais as a cousin, yet she becomes involved with him too. Her relationship with Eduardo is similar to Henry's in that she, Anais, needs to be desired and wanted. For a while she carries on a relationship with Eduardo, Henry and Hugo. Sometimes having sex with all of them in one day.
I didn't find the sexual exploits of any of these people as being strange. The difference between Anais and the main stream society is that most people don't publish their innermost thoughts and feelings. I certainly applaud her for having the courage to put herself out there (in a sense) and allow the general public not just into her bed, but into her brain as well. Henry, D. H. Laurence and Anais all have a huge following. They are well read not just by the lower-class societies, but by upper-class as well, which leads to more thought on why if so many people have be exposed to them, why are they not mainstream reads?
Thursday, July 23, 2009
7-23-09 Class Reading
I held my lit salon today. It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. Being the same type of procrastinator as many people, I waited until yesterday to put together my material. It took me much longer than I had anticipated. I would estimate that I sat at my kitchen table working on the flyer and power point for about 11 hours. This was my first experience using power point, so at first I wasn't sure what to do. It's not difficult, I quickly caught on. About half way through I decided that I wanted to add some background music to the slides, so I downloaded a cd of big band sound from Walmart.com. What a mistake that was. Three phone calls to them later, I had my music. When I tried to load a song to a slide it didn't work, so then I thought I would just burn the cd off onto disk and bring it in and play it in the background while I talked. That would have worked, except for some reason my burner didn't do it's job and lied to me about burning the songs. Oh well. I thought the presentation went off ok without it. In retrospect, I should have made note cards with highlights of what I wanted to say. Yesterday, I thought I would remember all of the important things about my authors. In reality, I remembered quite a bit more than I would normally give myself credit for. I'm obsessive in the way that I want to do my best. I am not afraid of failure as long as it isn't because I have slacked off on my duties.
Monday, July 20, 2009
7-23-09 Cultural Opportunity
Last night was great, seeing Shakespeare under the stars. I have wanted to go every year, but could never find anyone to go with me. I should have used the same technique Stephanie used to get her husband to join us. There were so many ages represented there, in addition to our class.
Before the play started I sat thinking about how many people have seen it performed since it was written in the 1590's, and the amount of times a director has taken "liberties" with it. For instance, last night with the Cajun accents. That to me is a big liberty, and even though I was told beforehand that they were doing it that way, I found it more difficult to understand the actors than if they would have had an British accent. Maybe if everyone would have had the same accent I could have become accustomed to the rhythm of it. The set in Bloomington reminded me of stories I had heard in High School about the famous "Theatre". I'm sure they didn't give out cushions for their seats in 1596. This is supposed to be one of Shakespeare's most popular works. I wonder if that is because it is a comedy. One would suppose that even in the 1500's that people needed a little comic relief in their week. The costumes, even though not elaborate were very creative and well done.
Before the play started I sat thinking about how many people have seen it performed since it was written in the 1590's, and the amount of times a director has taken "liberties" with it. For instance, last night with the Cajun accents. That to me is a big liberty, and even though I was told beforehand that they were doing it that way, I found it more difficult to understand the actors than if they would have had an British accent. Maybe if everyone would have had the same accent I could have become accustomed to the rhythm of it. The set in Bloomington reminded me of stories I had heard in High School about the famous "Theatre". I'm sure they didn't give out cushions for their seats in 1596. This is supposed to be one of Shakespeare's most popular works. I wonder if that is because it is a comedy. One would suppose that even in the 1500's that people needed a little comic relief in their week. The costumes, even though not elaborate were very creative and well done.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
July 16th Outside of Class
In today's paper on the second page is an article that caught my eye. The headline says "Student aid bill faces rough road." Of course being a recipient of student aid, I was compelled to read it.
Basically it says that the president, having planned to increase college aid is having a hard time selling it to congress. Big surprise there. Maybe he should have hidden his agenda in a bill marked "congressional raises." Ok, anyway, the article goes on to say that a key lawmaker proposed a bill that partly would boost the Pell Grant scholarship. The bill would do this by eliminating a large amount of subsidies for private college loans. The rest of the bill would go toward early childhood education, increasing the number of poor children with access to pre-kindergarden.
Having recently become unemployed I have spent many hours (this is what I do instead of sleeping) thinking about how I am going to continue my education and still support my family. Of course the Pell Grant is not going to subsidise my income by any means, but it would help lessen the blow a little bit and maybe allow me to work part time instead of full time. My means of living is very modest, so a little bit goes a long way for me.
The article did not say what the timeline was for sitting on congress' proverbial desk though. I'm sure like everything else that would benefit the working class it will sit for quite a while.
Basically it says that the president, having planned to increase college aid is having a hard time selling it to congress. Big surprise there. Maybe he should have hidden his agenda in a bill marked "congressional raises." Ok, anyway, the article goes on to say that a key lawmaker proposed a bill that partly would boost the Pell Grant scholarship. The bill would do this by eliminating a large amount of subsidies for private college loans. The rest of the bill would go toward early childhood education, increasing the number of poor children with access to pre-kindergarden.
Having recently become unemployed I have spent many hours (this is what I do instead of sleeping) thinking about how I am going to continue my education and still support my family. Of course the Pell Grant is not going to subsidise my income by any means, but it would help lessen the blow a little bit and maybe allow me to work part time instead of full time. My means of living is very modest, so a little bit goes a long way for me.
The article did not say what the timeline was for sitting on congress' proverbial desk though. I'm sure like everything else that would benefit the working class it will sit for quite a while.
July 16th
We did the poetry slam today. I have to say that I wasn't looking forward to participating. I worked for over an hour trying to figure out what I wanted to say and how to say it, even you-tubed some slam poets to refresh my memory. The first one I started was full of straight out anger. After texting with Megan I decided to scrap it and try some sarcastic humor. I had the same problem as last semester in Eng 110, what to write and how to say it. Ugh, I am an orator, not a writer. Stephanie and I struggled with my writing last semester, well she didn't struggle with it as much as I did. I'm glad the slam is over.
Going into today I couldn't wait to hear everyone's poems. It was not disappointing. Everyone did a great job. Some were thought provoking, others funny, some were just entertaining.
Even though I'm finished with my 1000 pages, I'm still reading. Nothing much else to do, well, except go back to knitting. I picked up a new book tonight at Kroger by Kathy Reichs called Devil Bones. Apparently the television series Bones was inspired by one of her books. Guess I will see how this one goes. After this, maybe some Nicholas Sparks. I like to vary my reading.
Going into today I couldn't wait to hear everyone's poems. It was not disappointing. Everyone did a great job. Some were thought provoking, others funny, some were just entertaining.
Even though I'm finished with my 1000 pages, I'm still reading. Nothing much else to do, well, except go back to knitting. I picked up a new book tonight at Kroger by Kathy Reichs called Devil Bones. Apparently the television series Bones was inspired by one of her books. Guess I will see how this one goes. After this, maybe some Nicholas Sparks. I like to vary my reading.
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